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Tag Archives: what in the actual fuck?

Knobs will be knobs

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Quote of the fucking day.

Knob: <loudly, in panic> Urgent! Is the tech guy in? This is urgent!

Some other knob: No, why?

Knob: O-M-G!!! I need him! It’s urgent. I have a voice mail and I don’t know how to check it!!!!! I really need to check it!!!!!

what

Context:

This late 20’s-something-or-other has been here for at least 6 months, maybe longer, who even knows.

This is a human person, who grew up in an age of technology, who can’t figure out how to check her voice mail and/or use a telephone thingy-doo-dad.

And once realizing that part, can’t ‘ask the internet‘ how to do it?

Or you know, check that user manual that collects dust in her desk?

Instead, she will let it sit there?

Until?

Are you telling me that in over 6 months as communications advisor, she has never had a message?

Ever?!

In communications?!

EVER???

Hello?

In real life??

Just how is this even possible? Just how?

It’s not like she’s being asked to extract zip files, or copy a video file from one folder to your desktop. Those things are challenging, you know?

rollaway

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Would you like some salt with your salt?

1wtf

Last night:

Exhausted, passed out early.

Wakes up mid-dream and/or sleepwalks-sits?

Rips off the top of a box of salt.

Sticks hand in salt.

Feels around for whatever in the fuck I thought was hiding in  the salt.

Ingests large handful of salt.

Wakes up.

Water so much water. More water. Water.

Back to sleep. Work related dreams nightmares.

Wakes up.

Swears.

Notices coffee table and a plate full  of salt, beside a box of salt with the top ripped off.

Help me.